Interpersonal Communication : Lying And Its Role In Relationships
Nov 2, 2017783Words4Pages
A significant form of interpersonal communication that plays an enormous role in relationships is lying. Lying has evolved into a frequent practice in today’s society. Even though, lying seem to be fond upon, we all have done it multiple times for not just our benefit but for others. In relationships, lying is turned from a negative to positive act depending on the circumstances. It seems as if, you lie in attempt to help another person it’s celebrated than if you lie for your benefits. Lying is known to only mislead or give a false impression in which the false hood can only cause negative acts. Why does one enange in lying if the outcome is negative? The most found reason that people find themselves lying is because of the truth. It is said that many people lie because long-term the truth is worse than the short-term lie. Lying is judged off its cost and benefits. In each situation, there will be outcomes when it comes to the lies being told. Lying to those you have impersonal connection with has less of an impact than those you have an interpersonal relationships. Those that has an impersonal relationships is nearly never affected by the lies told because normally they do not see that person as often as those with the close bonds. I understand that lying can be beneficial in relationship of any kind, but I personally feel that the truth is preferred. There are two consequences that puts strain on the relationship. Termination is the last step in a relationship; there are steps in relationship but those step does not have to be followed. Lying evolves from an occassionally act to an everyday act. I have decided to reflect on this particular topic because lying has been an issue in my past relationship. I never could understand what exactly was the benefit of lying in the relationship if the outcome has been negative.
In my past relationship, I had this situation in which my boyfriend used to always play the Xbox instead of giving me all his attention. I used to get upset because I felt as if I was more important than his game. I attempted everything but nothing worked. So, I just started making up lies trying to bargain but nothing worked. I told him, “I was sick and needed his attention”, “I dislike him” , “It’s over”. He did not give me the time of the day until I told him “It was over”. He reacted before thinking about my feelings. He just started saying, “How he hates me” and continue to discuss my worth to him. The lie that I told him was just a joke because all I wanted was his attention. Later on, I took it upon myself to learn the games he was playing because that was my way to keep his interest. After, he got over what I said previously, we was able to play against each other. Since,we was able to play the game with one another it rebuild our relationship in a positive way. Some lies damage the relationship and other lies put the act of change in the relationship. This example above is a lie that actually benefited my relationship in the end.
In the my past relationship, the lies was not just coming from me but from my partner as well. I use to lie about purposeless things but his lies was damaging. On May 26, 2017, my boyfriend left to go on a missionary trip and that was the worst day of my life. The missionary trip was designed to help college students build healthy relationships with GOD. Days late, we slowly stop talking and I continually asked him why. He always gave me reason that I believed but in the end it was all a lie. He used to tell me that he’s trying to rebuild his life and how he’s trying to change to better relationship. On July 12, 2017, I received a text that said, “I want to build a relationship with GOD single”. After a long phone call, I concluded that he did not want to be in a relationship because he wanted to focus on GOD. On September 23, 2017, I found out that he only broke up with me because he found a new girl.
If lying has its benefits, can a healthy relationship stand on only lies? If everyone lies, how can we measure what lies destroy relationships? The lies that seem to be most damaging are those lies coming from close relationships. Everyone has sensitive subjects that they do not self-disclose with just anyone and those subjects can destroy relationship if lied on.